Merry Christmas!

I haven't made it a secret that I'm not feeling exactly festive this year. Tomorrow afternoon is the gift exchange with Rick's family. I am hoping I can keep it together; I find that I am very emotional right now. One thing I hate to do is to cry around other people. I've always hated it. I don't know why, but it doesn't make me feel better. I prefer the kind of sobbing I can do on my own, with only my cats for company. I have preferred to grieve on my own throughout this whole journey. I go to the cemetary alone. I spend Christmas Day alone. Don't go feeling sorry for me....this is what I want and it's healthy for me (this opinion was reinforced by my therapist, so don't go getting all concerned and thinking that I don't know what I need. Alone time is EXACTLY what I need. I find myself defending this position a lot, in case you can't tell. LOL). So, anyway, I'm a little worried that I won't keep it together this year. To try to make myself jump a little more into the holiday spirit, I made this ornament for the Belles n Whistles ornament contest. I have no illusions that it'll win; the competition is fierce. However, it sort of calmed me to craft and this image always makes me smile. I was going to do a "baby's first Christmas" ornament and give her as a gift, but then I decided to make something that I could hang up in my scrap area to remind me that there are always blessings. A silent, peaceful night is one of them. New babies to love is another. And then there's Christmas trees and snowflakes and fun things all wrapped up in a bow. Yeah, I gotta remind myself that blessings abound, so she's currently dangling from a hook in my crafting space, trying to be that reminder. What a tough job for such a little girl, but I think she can handle it. Merry Christmas to all of you and thanks for your continued prayers and positive thoughts. I hope your holidays are full of fun, love, and laughter.