Thursday, December 23, 2010

Merry Christmas!

I haven't made it a secret that I'm not feeling exactly festive this year. Tomorrow afternoon is the gift exchange with Rick's family. I am hoping I can keep it together; I find that I am very emotional right now. One thing I hate to do is to cry around other people. I've always hated it. I don't know why, but it doesn't make me feel better. I prefer the kind of sobbing I can do on my own, with only my cats for company. I have preferred to grieve on my own throughout this whole journey. I go to the cemetary alone. I spend Christmas Day alone. Don't go feeling sorry for me....this is what I want and it's healthy for me (this opinion was reinforced by my therapist, so don't go getting all concerned and thinking that I don't know what I need. Alone time is EXACTLY what I need. I find myself defending this position a lot, in case you can't tell. LOL). So, anyway, I'm a little worried that I won't keep it together this year. To try to make myself jump a little more into the holiday spirit, I made this ornament for the Belles n Whistles ornament contest. I have no illusions that it'll win; the competition is fierce. However, it sort of calmed me to craft and this image always makes me smile. I was going to do a "baby's first Christmas" ornament and give her as a gift, but then I decided to make something that I could hang up in my scrap area to remind me that there are always blessings. A silent, peaceful night is one of them. New babies to love is another. And then there's Christmas trees and snowflakes and fun things all wrapped up in a bow. Yeah, I gotta remind myself that blessings abound, so she's currently dangling from a hook in my crafting space, trying to be that reminder. What a tough job for such a little girl, but I think she can handle it. Merry Christmas to all of you and thanks for your continued prayers and positive thoughts. I hope your holidays are full of fun, love, and laughter.


The Scrappy Cottage said...

She is so cute and I do hope she will help you through. I pray peace comes your way.

Brenda said...

First off Gina, she is wonderful. Second, I am glad that you are putting yourself first and doing what you know you need. Enjoy your alone time my friend. Love and prayers are coming your way. Bren

sugarnellie said...

Happy New Year Gina, what will 2011 bring your way? I hope all good things and lots of happy times, its a chance to write another chapter in your book of ME and do things that might scare you but as you well know, life is too short to worry about that. Put on your big girl pants and give it a go.LOL
Thank you for visiting me and telling me your story, Take care