Wednesday, June 8, 2011

What do you call it when it's not big enough to be a milestone?

If you've accomplished something that you wouldn't necessarily call a milestone, but it's still an accomplishment, what in the heck do you call it? Heck, I don't even know that it's an accomplishment. Today, I went to the movies by myself for the first time. Doesn't seem like much, I know. It's just not something I have ever done. If you know me, you know that I am a very independent person. I go to amusement parks alone (in fact, I plan to go to Busch Gardens on Saturday). I eat out at restaurants alone. I go on road trips alone. None of this phases me. My ex told me that he admires that I can do that, because he can't stand to go to restaurants and things like that by himself. I have never had an issue with that, for whatever reason. However, I've never gone to a movie by myself. My brother does it all of the time and I know that other people do, as well. It's just never been something I did. Movies have always seemed like a couple activity or something you do with friends, so you can talk about the movie after. You'd think trips and amusement parks would seem more like group activities to me, wouldn't you? It just hasn't been that way.

Since Rick passed away, I've been trying hard to step out of my comfort zone. A wonderful guy I know who also lost his partner gave me great advice. He had a lot of good advice to give, in fact. I'll just share one tidbit with you here, because it pertains to this post. He told me that I needed to get out and do something for me. Something that had nothing to do with Rick. Something that could be totally mine and mine alone. He told me, although not in so many words, that I needed to find my own way, apart from my memories of Rick. I needed to do this to move forward in my life. I've tried to take his advice to heart. I took a Spanish class (I don't remember much of it now, but hey, I took it!). I signed up for some groups like Soldier's Angels and CDAC. I planned and executed a trip to Canada. I've redecorated my home and made major decisions about home improvements, and even managed to do some small home repairs on my own (that was a serious shocker, let me tell you. I'm not handy). One thing I hadn't done was something small, but for some reason, significant to me. Today, I did it. I went to a movie by myself, and man, was it weird. It wasn't even a movie Rick would have seen with me. It was strange to buy one ticket, to go through the snack line without conferring with anyone else about what they wanted to share, and to pick my seat without checking with another person to see where they'd like to sit. I gotta say, I didn't like it much. I don't see this as something I'll do often. It kind of sucked. It didn't help that the movie was not as good as I had hoped. At least there's always my other sole endeavors. Busch Gardens, here I come!


Starla B. said...

Sweetie, I'm sorry you didn't like the movie, but good for you for getting out there!! You are a constant inspiration!


MommaSaid said...

I can't see myself going to a movie solo, either. Mainly, I think that's because I've just never done it. DH used to do it all the time and occasionally still does. Who's supposed to watch my purse and save my seat when I have to pee like a racehorse as the movie is reaching it's peek?

Guylou said...

Congrats on this high point! I always admire how strong you are! I hope you trip to Canada includes T.O. Come on over!

Brenda said...

Gina, I am always inspired by you. As independent as you are I am surprised you have never done this movie thing alone. I am so proud of you and all of your accomplishments since losing Rick. I can't imagine, but if I ever have to do it I will be looking to you for advice and support. I am so proud to call you friend. LUG!!

Kim Kelley said...

I applaud you. You are such a strong woman. I hope your trip to Busch Gardens goes wonderfully and you have more fun than at the movies! HUGS to you!